“Our culture would tell me that I’ve somehow failed myself, that I’m a quitter or a loser. Self-help would say that I either wasn’t courageous enough, determined enough or I didn’t believe in myself enough. The entrepreneurial/start up crowd would tell me that I chickened out on my dream and gave in to my conventional social conditioning. I’d be told to do affirmations or join a mastermind group or manifest or something.
But the truth is far less interesting than that: I thought I wanted something, but it turns out I didn’t. End of story.
I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love not with the fight but only the victory. And life doesn’t work that way.
Who you are is defined by the values you are willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape. People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainty of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.”
I have been rethinking my pursuit of astrophysicists for the past few months. This article summarizes what I have been thinking: Am I willing to struggle for it?
The answer is no. I am content with studying and teaching it. I am not willing to struggle to be the best. I am not willing to sacrifice my love of creating art, time with friends and family, and passion to drive social change for it.
That's okay.
That's okay.
http://markmanson.net/question#PbCkGU:VNe
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